It may amaze you how extreme cheaters go in excusing their cheating. I was reminded of this on reading a recent
article on cheating which appeared in the Daily Star. The article implied that if your man has blond hair, brown eyes, uses sex toys and plays tennis, then they are more likely to cheat (at least if they are British).
You may find such articles informative, yet they can mislead you. They can leave you thinking that cheating occurs based on external variables or certain lifestyles without any mention of morals or values at all. It can leave you thinking that brown eyed men cheat, because they have brown eyes.
The brown eyed cheater (or blond hair, etc.) is an over simplification of cheating.
The study may have found correlations, but that does not mean that brown eyes or blonde hair or… are the causes of affairs. When you are not aware of how statistics can be used to manipulate you, such stories can trip you up.
First, they give you a false sense of the cause of affairs. They leave you assuming that because a connection was found that it is also the cause. Correlations are not the same thing as causes. I can tell you that there are more fires in communities with fire trucks. Does that mean that fire trucks cause fires? No! In a similar manner, brown eyes and blonde hair do not cause affairs.
Second, such studies focus on external traits. It can leave you thinking that affairs are all about external traits. When you focus on the internal, it takes away the role of choice, values and morals in the affair process.
Some cheaters may like the studies since it gives them the excuse, “I was born this way!” Many cheater love finding excuses that they were born to cheat. It takes away any ‘wrongness’ from their choices and actions. It takes them off the hook for their choices.
Third, you need to consider the logic. If Blond haired, brown eyed males are more likely to cheat, then logically, blue eyed, brunettes are more likely to be loyal. If there are external attributes for cheating, then there must logically be similar attributes for loyalty. (Note: You have to note the wording of the Charles University in Prague study on eye color and loyalty. Brown eyes ‘inspire’ loyalty. It does not mean that they are more loyal.) Since such attributes do not exist for loyalty, it raises questions as to the believe-ability of such attributes for those prone to affairs.
So before you rush out and make accusations or have emotional reactions based on misleading studies, consider the source and the issues raised above. Your marriage is too important to trust to misleading statistics.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
2 Responses
Scripture says”judge not by appearance ..judge righteous judgment ”
2 Tim 3:16 …17 the word of God “All scripture given by inspiration of God for doctrine, re proof, and correction which is INSTRUCTION IN RIGHTEOUSNESS”
It’s not that we have no way to know and walk in righteousness
It is available to know
Bit natural man receives not the righteousness and judgement of God for wisdoms same…..therefore many suffer consequences …..all sin has consequences …here and eternity
For those who know the Saviour they also know forgiveness and that He paid with His own blood that we might resist and overcome it’s that lead into sin …..its available to live by His power to avoid acting on every urge….
Zaza,
Thank you for your comment. If more people learned how to make good judgements, it would make a world of difference. Instead, they want mental shortcuts and simple to follow directions instead of thinking for themselves.