Bridges have an appeal, as do burned bridges. They have a way of calling to you. It’s as if the bridge beckons you to find out “What’s on the other side?” The burned ones make you wonder ‘what happened?’
Your curiosity often pulls on you to find out where the bridge will take you. Such bridges are fine when you’re exploring nature, but disastrous when it comes to relationships.
Although my generation often made reference to ‘burning bridges’ when it comes to severed past relationships,, in today’s culture, social media makes them a historic artifact. The ‘interconnnectedness’ of everyone is the social priority.
These days, if you ‘burn the bridges’ of former relationships, you are socially shamed for being stuck up or anti-social. In previous generations burning bridges was a good thing. It meant that ‘it’s over’ and done with.
With social media, the dynamics of relationships has changed. Now only that chapter is over, yet the relationships continue along another narrative. The same people are only in different roles.
This tendency of building bridges rather than burning them poses challenges for couples. It means that old flames and lovers stay connected with you and your spouse. Those relationships are never ‘fully ended’. Since they are never fully ended, there is a constant threat of the old flames coming back to life.
As long as you keep the old connections around, there are dangers. In order to save your marriage, you’ll want those connections gone. The benefits of severing the connections/unfriending them far outweigh the risks of being viewed as stuck-up, etc.
The unfriend button is your friend. Enjoy the beauty of burned bridges. There’s a peace of mind that comes when all the bridges are gone. Learning to say ‘NO’ to friend requests is important for your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
