You learn a lot from talking and listening to people. I know I have. There are times you accomplish more and learn more from listening than from talking.
Although listening sounds like a simple thing, this simple things makes a big difference, especially in today’s culture. Many in society are so caught up with their hand held devices, they forget the simple things like listening.
One husband initially said to me “There’s no way of coming back from an affair!” His statement startled me and we began talking.
In listening to this heart-broken husband, he made a statement that grabbed my attention. He stated that “It wasn’t the first affair that got me. It was the second one that destroyed my marriage.”
I listened as he elaborated on how the pain of his wife’s second affair took him too far. He still struggles with the painful effects of her second affair.
At that point, it was just too much. He felt that all the effort he put into their marriage after the first affair amounted to ‘nothing’. All he had hoped for and believed about their marriage was gone.
He actually believed they had improved their marriage. In many ways things in his marriage were better than before the first affair. The second affair devastated him and drained him of all hope.
It was the second affair that he couldn’t come back from.
He couldn’t save it this time. His emotional reserves were depleted. There was no more he could give.
In listening to him, I heard many indications of affair trauma. He was certainly traumatized by what happened on multiple levels.
He talked about losing confidence in himself, difficulty thinking, distrust, isolation and a host of other symptoms that hit him with her second affair. Although he’s moved on with life, the symptoms continue haunting him to this day.
If you are going through a similar experience, you could be going through the symptoms of affair trauma and not even realize it. Those symptoms have a way of sucking the life out of you.
This is where membership in the Restored Lifestyle site can be helpful. Membership gives you immediate access to videos on “Overcoming Affair Trauma.” Healing always begins with you.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
