Back in July of 2015, I wrote a post entitled “The Lover Won’t Let Go“. It ended up being a popular post and generated its share of comments. It struck a nerve with many readers.
It’s hard ending an affair when either the cheater or the lover refuse letting go. I was reminded of this on receiving an email from a reader facing such a situation. In their case the lover from an affair that ended two years prior continue reaching out for connection.
The desperation some lovers and cheaters resort to is astounding. They end up saying and doing things just to keep some kind of connection. It’s not unheard of that threats of suicide or claims of pregnancy are used in keeping connection.
Begging and pleading are just the tip of the iceberg used in making emotional appeals. When the appeals don’t work, some resort to threats.
If you’re fortunate, they limit their efforts to emails and phone calls. Things get scary when they start stalking you with determination. When they harness the power of the internet, they find ways of connecting that you never imagined possible.
This is one of the hidden dangers of affairs in the 21st century. The possibilities of reaching out and touching someone else are endless. This is an unwanted touch that comes at unwanted times.
Not only are the possibilities endless, those possibilities present new nightmares scenarios that are hard to get out of your head.
You may not be able to hinder the lover, yet there are things you can do with the cheater or yourself. The reaching out for connection and re-igniting the relationship are tell tale signs of trauma bonds.
The good news is that when you’re faced with trauma bonds, you’re not helpless. There are things that you can do in protecting your marriage and mind from the reach of those bonds.
In the January Special Report entitled “Trauma Bonds: The Ties that Choke and Bind” I cover trauma bonds along with what you can do about them. The report is going out to members of the Restored Lifestyle site on the 15th. You still have time to join and receive your copy of this timely report.
Until then, you can purchase the video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma” to help you during such times.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
