As a child growing up I saw movies about con games such as “The Sting” and “The Flim-Flam Man”. These movies gave the impression that con men (confidence men) and scammers were a thing of the past.
It’s a mistake assuming that they are either a thing of the past or that you are smart enough not to fall for confidence games where you’re deceived. Although the news is filled with stories of financial con men like Bernie Madoff, or Nigerian princes, you rarely hear about the ones posing the greatest threat to you and your marriage.
Relationship con games are more powerful and threatening now than they ever were. These days affairs and false reports of affairs are used in conning people like you.
The person posing as your friend or your spouse’s friend works their way into your inner circle. Once there, they tell you things that make you feel safe. They tell you smooth lies that sound truthful.
Once you trust them, you let down your guard. That’s when they strike. They may sleep with your spouse, claim being pregnant or threaten to expose an affair. They strike in a such a way that you want things kept secret.
They use the power of the secret and your desire for it against you. They start demanding money from you and your spouse. If you’re lucky, it’s only a one time scam. In some cases, they find ways of making an on-going scam.
The whole confidence game is about blackmail. The more decent and upstanding you are, the more powerful their scheme becomes. If you are a military family, there are con artists who excel in working the military systems against you.
The con artists uses social media in applying further pressure. Their actions threaten reputations and livelihoods.
In the video, Dealing with the Affair Crisis, I point out the importance of telling yourself the truth about what’s going on. When you are either in the middle of a con or pulling yourself out of one, telling yourself the truth is an essential life skill.
The video guides you in coming to grips with relationship crises. It helps you when you are feeling most helpless.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
