A valid question when it comes to affairs is “Why does it matter?”. This can be phrased in terms of “What is the big deal about affairs?” or “Affairs happen, so what?”
Since honest questions deserve honest answers, let’s consider these questions.
Affairs matter in that they weaken marriages. They weaken the strength of your commitment to your spouse. When the marriage is weakened, the whole stability of the family is at risk as well. Besides weakening your marriage, they also put your health at risk. When there is unprotected sex, you are exposed to various communicable diseases. Some of them do not have any cure. Affairs put your health and the health of your family in jeopardy. The diseases brought home by the cheater can be spread through the family.
Emotionally, affairs mess you up. When you have an affair, you are bonding with another person on an emotional and biological level. This bonding is real. You may say, it was just sex, but the reality is that it was MORE than just sex. The bonding creates an umbilical cord that keeps the cheater attached to the lover. When you go to bed with the cheater, you are also emotionally in bed with the lover as well. The heart and emotions of the cheater are split between you and the lover. The cheater may be fine with sharing themselves with others, but you may not. Split loyalties create problems in marriages and families. You can claim that “it takes a village” approach, but when it comes to families, such an approach breaks up and fragments them, instead of strengthening them.
The weakening of the marital bond also weakens spiritual commitment of the marriage. It weakens your promise to God often included with wedding vows. When marriage is cheapened, it cheapens sex, family and everything else it touches. Marriage degenerates into who you are shacking up with at the moment. Affairs take away any special status of marriage.
These are significant concerns. I see them as more, much more than a so what.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
