A friend of mine shared an incident in his life involving a road rage incident in Austin on Mopac this summer. A driver in a Mercedes suddenly cut him off and his passions kicked.
If you’ve ever driven in Austin, you’d understand the traffic on Mopac and how passions can flare up. This is even more intense when the temperatures rise into the triple digit range.
M y friend began following the Mercedes closely. He controlled himself enough to not cuss or name call, but was so wound up, he wanted to do something. In this case, he opted for channeling his passions into tailgating the Mercedes.
When the driver of the Mercedes started waving his gun in the air, my friend got the message and backed off.
His experience reminded me how passions can kick in and keep us from thinking or behaving like we need to. No matter what our role is in society, no one is immune from moments where passions kick in.
In the days immediately following discovery of the affair, you may have given into your passions. At that time, one common way of coping is blaming.
You want someone or something to blame for what happened. You want a donkey to pin your pain on. You want some way of channeling your passions.
At that time, it’s part of your way of coping. Blaming is your way of channeling the intense passions aroused inside of you.
Now that it’s been a few weeks since finding out, your blaming is no longer about coping. If you’re continuing doing it, you’re avoiding something. It may be avoiding choices or facing some unpleasant part of what happened.
As long as you are caught up in the blaming, you’re going to feel stuck. When blaming goes on for an extended time, it turns crippling. Consider who you’re blaming and what you can do differently.
You may be putting off a decision or keeping someone at a distance. When your blaming continues, there’s some form of payoff that keeps it going in your mind and heart.
A good place to start changing things is with forgiveness. If you think forgiveness is about letting the cheater off, you don’t understand what forgiveness is truly about.
Instead forgiveness is about you taking care of yourself. It’s about you letting go of relationship garbage that is cluttering up your heart and mind.
When you’re ready to stop blaming, consider purchasing the video, “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the walls and remove the roadblocks”.
The sooner you stop blaming others for being stuck, the sooner you can start improving your life. Holding onto hurts and covering them with blaming is not helping you.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
