Yesterday, I told you about the ‘Wow’ comment from Australia. Just a few weeks prior, on the same blog post, I received a comment from another fan of swinging.
The previous comment, which I initially attributed to a troll bothered me. Although the comment shares much in common with troll-like comments, there’s a slim chance it’s genuine.
In the comment, the reader stated, “Been wife swapping for 30 years now and it’s with my minster and his wife . Best thing we have ever done. It’s god plan to do this. He has a plan for all of us.”
I’m not sure why the open marriage promoters share the view that it’s “God’s plan” for them. Justifying their behavior by saying it’s part of the Almighty’s plan for them bothers me on many levels.
It’s bad theology and bad psychology. Saying that God wants them to be ‘happy’ is being used in justifying some twisted things totally contrary to Scripture. It’s also using defense mechanisms like rationalization and excuses for indulging in self-serving behaviors.
I’ve seen some spouses use the Divine ploy as a way of getting into someone’s pants, yet stretching it to justify the swinging lifestyle stretches doctrine in ways I never imagined.
It’s also disturbing that one of the couples swinging is a minister. When this happens, reputations are destroyed and ministries become mockeries. Even the Biblical accounts of when that happened ends tragically.
I also know from experience that some ministers get caught up in messes like this. They are not immune. Having worked with them, when they come to their senses, they’re extremely distraught.
When I’ve worked with ministers in that situation, they found themselves in the deepest depths of despair filled with suicidal ideations, desperation and guilt.
One of the most harrowing moments in my life as a counselor was when one of these types of ministers threatened electrocuting himself in front of me. The depth of his pain was so intense, I felt it just a few feet away from him.
The stark contrast between the infidelity promoting commentary and the minister I worked with is day and night. Having seen the results of intense long-term infidelity in a minister, I’ve learned that infidelity is deadly serious business.
Infidelity may give intense highs to some, yet it also takes you to new depths of pain you never thought possible. Given that ministers are people of influence, what they say and do impacts a wide circle of people.
When a minister succumbs to affairs, it damages not only them, but the whole congregation as well. The damage includes both visible and invisible effects. Their focus shifts from being spiritually minded to being sensually focused.
Although the minister I worked with felt hopeless at that moment, he managed moving past the pain. There is hope for changing. You can move past the traumatic effects of infidelity and swinging.
In the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” I share ways of moving past ugly events that have stained your life. You don’t have to let the shadow from bad things in your past continue haunting you.
Download the video and start moving past what happened to you. Recovering from the affair gives you relief and guiltless joy like you’ve never had before.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
