One of the truisms that have helped me over the years of going through research is “consider the source”. As simple as it sounds, it helps make sense of the studies, surveys, and research.
I picked it up from one of my professors at the University of Houston-Clear Lake. I can’t recall which one specifically. He emphasized the importance of looking at who books were dedicated to and who an author thanks along with whoever paid for the research being done.
Those clues alert me to the source of the findings. Paid research typically has some biases in its findings. This trend continues with books and other publications. When you know who paid for it, you already know what the bias will be.
I was reminded of this on reading a study reported from England. The source was Ashley Madison. In their survey, the researcher found that men are more likely to forgive an affair than women, which they attribute to sex differences. Now, before you even read the study, consider the source.
This is the first time I’ve seen a survey on who is more likely to forgive cheating. I haven’t seen confirmation of that finding in working with couples. In my own work with couples, I find just the opposite.
Perhaps the users of Ashley Madison services are more likely to forgive cheating. I already know that their clientele views cheating more favorably than the general population. They also have a higher potential for cheating themselves.
This is an example of why it’s important to consider the source when looking at research.
When you’re considering any kind of research, it’s important to think about who conducted the research and who funded it. That can give you a lot of clues about what biases might be present in the findings.
This is a glaring example of why it’s so important to consider the source of surveys and research on infidelity topics. When you don’t consider the source, you can be led astray.
I also wonder if the respondents to the survey actually forgive what their spouses did. Have they let go of the hurts that betrayal brought into their lives? Are they really okay with their wife sleeping around with other men?
I think not. I think they don’t fully understand what’s involved with forgiveness and what it requires. In my video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” I address this topic and ways of implementing it.
Rather than overlooking what your spouse did, you can find ways of gaining relief from what happened. You have the choice of carrying around the burden or taking serious steps toward offloading it in a healthy way.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
