In my daily reading, I came across an interesting and thought-provoking principle. I found myself reading it several times. Each time, I read it, I saw more and more examples illustrating the truth of it, especially concerning affairs.
After reading the principle, it became clear how cheaters find opportunities for cheating everywhere they go. In hotels, offices, restaurants, job sites and airports, opportunities just ‘pop up’. Although there is talk of an affair happening by chance, with some cheaters, it seems that their whole world is filled with chances.
Although I’ve pondered the question of chance and opportunities with cheaters, a clear answer to such situations often evaded me. The principle put all of those situations in a new spotlight of illumination.
The principle is “If one wishes to do wrong, opportunities are afforded him“.
In previous writing, I quoted a Southern Baptist preacher who often stated “It happens in the head before it happens in the bed”. The decision to cheat is made before the cheating ever happens or opportunities occur.
They try to make you believe that the opportunity came first. They may actually believe this, yet the fact remains that the choice ‘to cheat’ comes first. All the talk about ‘It just happened’ is smoke and mirrors.
When one chooses to do wrong, the opportunity then arises. An individual’s environment and circle of contacts will expand in order to fulfill the person’s desire to cheat. People may be unaware that they are being manipulated by a cheater using them to provide an opportunity for cheating.
The cheater may tell you that it was an accident, or “I didn’t mean to…” or some other excuse. Those excuses divert your attention from them making a choice BEFORE anything happened. Once the mind makes a choice, it starts looking for ways to make what they imagined to happen.
Once the cheater chooses to do wrong, they find opportunities. They not only find them, but at times they make those opportunities happen.
This is critical to understand in stopping and preventing affairs. As long as they still wish to do wrong, and have fantasies of affairs, you’ve got problems. This is why I address such fantasies in my newest video, “How To Rekindle Closeness And Bring Back Intimacy In Your Marriage“.
Until you deal with the wish to do wrong and the fantasies associated with it, you’ve still got relationship problems.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
