During my time in graduate school, I came across a peculiar phenomenon known as “ABD’s.” These are individuals who have completed all the necessary coursework for their doctoral degree, except for the dissertation. What baffled me was that these students would do all the hard work, only to stop right before the finish line. Some even dropped out of school entirely. It was mind-boggling.
But the mystery of “ABD’s” was finally unraveled when I learned about the concept of the “fear of success.” It may sound strange, but there are people who talk about wanting success yet are actually afraid of it. Success terrifies them to the point where they subconsciously sabotage their own chances of achieving it. For them, success brings about a whole new set of fears. They want success, yet are terrified of the responsibilities that come with it.
I’ve also witnessed this fear of success in affair recovery. Some individuals are afraid of having a successful marriage. One defining characteristic of this fear is the inability to receive. Refusing to accept support or love in a relationship is a surefire way to keep it unhealthy and stagnant. I have seen grown men who are so terrified of receiving that they can’t even accept presents, let alone love or loving acts.
Cheaters in relationships are another example of people who fear success. They engage in behaviors that sabotage their own happiness because the idea of a healthy relationship scares them. They find security in dysfunction and victimhood, especially when they come from a dysfunctional family.
In my “Affair Recovery Workshop” download, I delve into how you can break free from these unhealthy patterns inherited from your family. These patterns are far more influential on your marriage than you may realize. But the good news is that they can be changed. In the workshop, I provide a step-by-step guide to help you make those necessary changes in the right order. Tackling family patterns and fears in the wrong sequence only worsens the situation.
Don’t let fear of success sabotage your own happiness. Join me in the workshop and start making a difference in your life and relationships.
Keeping it real,
Jeff
