When my fingers began trembling while typing the date on today’s email, it told me that I’m still experiencing strong emotions associated with this date for me. For some of you, it’s Patriot Day. For me, there are some additional layers of pain associated with that date.
Two years ago, my father passed away on this day. He was a firm believer that life was all about relationships. I considered what his message would be to others if he was still here.
I believe he would still hold firm to his views on relationships. These days, priorities have shifted away from making relationships a priority.
The assumption is made that your family or spouse will just be there or that they’ll understand how you need to chase your dreams.
In modern society, your passions, compassions and political convictions are viewed as MORE important than your relationships. Fulfilling your dreams is seen as a higher priority than having healthy relationships.
Some couples are even divorcing over political differences. They put political values OVER their relationships, which is a sad statement.
Even what’s left of the cultural heroes revered by the mainstream media are figures who sacrificed their family relationships for what they believed was a bigger goal. The modern heroes given statues and having buildings named after them are those who sacrificed their relationships and families.
I look at them and wonder what kind of message this is sending the youth.
Through my father’s eyes I wonder “What were their relationships like?”
Did they love their spouse and children? What kind of relationships did they leave behind them?
When you start looking at the world that way, it changes what’s important. It changes how you look at affairs, one-night stands and trophy hook-ups.
When the relationships aren’t the priority, achievements become nothing more than kitsch and trinkets.
Today’s a good day to consider your relationships and what they mean to you. Making that phone call or writing a card, or sending an email may be all it takes to let someone know they are valued by you.
If an affair has trashed your views of relationships, now is a good time to change that. Are you throwing away a perfectly good marriage?
Instead of throwing it away, think in terms of the long game. How you handle the relationships really does influence the course of your life.
If you want to start turning things around, consider the Affair Recovery Workshop and put it to work for you. Even if there was only a close call, your marriage is worth a second or third effort.
With relationships, what’s important is doing your best rather than limiting yourself to some pre-determined number of times you reach out.
If you’ve been putting your relationships on the back burner, now’s the time to do something about it. In my 30 day series on improving your relationship, you can begin putting your relationships first. 30 Days to a Better Marriage guides you on a daily basis through those changes, so that they become a new healthy habit.
You can have more stability and security in your marriage rather than it being an afterthought. Order it today and start turning your relationship around.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
P.S. The topic of putting relationships on the back burner came up 5 days later in Carolyn Hax’s column in the Washington Post. The issue is timely for many of you. It’s not the time to put off taking action.
