A recent article on a new book out by a French psychologist underscores the importance of evaluating information on affairs in context. The psychologist, Maryse Vaillant claims that affairs can improve one’s marriage. Bear in mind that 1) she is promoting her new book. Promoting a book means doing and saying things that will deliver salves. 2) She is a leading French psychologist. Her book is appropriate for France and French values, not the values and cultures of other people. The values and ideas of each culture are not interchangeable. Not every culture accepts infidelity. Look at the recent Tiger Woods episode and how sponsors are dropping him like flies. They know that although sex may sell, infidelity does not. Even in Canada, the Toronto Transit Commission rejected an ad promoting infidelity on its trains.
The lack of consistency is even apparent with celebrities. While Angelina Jolie has expressed acceptance of infidelity, Sienna Miller has taken steps to prevent her spouse from taking unapproved liberties. So even in Hollywood, there are mixed messages.
Contrast this with American author Mark Verge who also recently released a book on reducing infidelity. He provides ways for men to maintain fidelity in their relationships.
Bottom line, the agencies, persons and researches claiming that affairs are ‘healthy’ need to be taken in context. Like global warming ‘experts’, the information needs to be taken in context and examined for its validity. There are some people and cultures who accept adultery. If you are not among them, then remember to take all the stories you hear with a grain of salt, remembering where they came from and what they are up to.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
