Occasionally I have experienced preoccupations. This is when my mind just can’t let go of something it has latched onto.
When this happens, anytime my mind manages carving out a few moments where nothing else has my focus, the preoccupation takes over.
The worst times are when I have large amounts of unstructured time on my hands. During those times, the preoccupation grabs center stage and puts on a show for me.
When my preoccupation has positive emotional associations, I enjoy it, when it has negative associations, it turns torturous.
Preoccupations are one of the effects that come with traumas, especially affair trauma. Your mind doesn’t rest.
The preoccupations claim a space in your mind and refuse leaving. They not only stake out space, they camp out there rain or shine.
The preoccupations can be so noisy they keep you awake at night. One of the effects of those preoccupations is that you feel even more out of control of your thinking than before.
When they become extreme, they drive you rather than you control them. It’s also something that’s hard talking about with the cheater. They think you are nagging them and miss the whole message of how you are wrestling with the preoccupation.
If you need a place to talk about these kinds of problems, consider joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There you can share and gain support. You’ll also have access to videos on Affair Trauma, preventing affair relapse and other important topics.
Best Regards,
Jeff
