On reading the story in the news about the army captain caught driving around with the body of his wife in the trunk in Louisiana, my stomach churned. The churning went into high gear on discovering the car was driven by his girlfriend while having his own biological children in the back seat.
This real life episode was more horrifying than any movie script Hollywood could dream up.
This horror story is a stark reminder that affairs are serious business. They’re not just fun and games. They’re not about the cheater finding themselves or feeling young again.
The situation is what I categorize as a ‘disastrous’ or ‘tragic affair’. The drama in these affairs make Shakespearean tragedies look tame.
The passions aroused in any affair have consequences. For the wife in the trunk, Shelena Kyle, the consequences were beyond hurt feelings. The affair cost her life and family.
Although there are numerous jokes about a wife in the trunk, they are efforts at cutting tensions about a gut churning tragedy.
One of the questions that arises in such a situation is “How could someone do this?” The really scary question is “What keeps it from happening more frequently?”
Affairs ignite passion. Those passions quickly spin out of control. The cheater may tell themselves “I’ve got this!”
Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is that the affair and its passions have them.
When movies, music and cultural values promote indulging in your passions and going after what makes you happy, it’s surprising such horror stories don’t happen more often.
Stirring up such passions within those who have Narcissistic personalities or attention related problems or borderline personalities amounts to putting gasoline on a fire. These populations have trouble with controlling their passions both during and after the affair.
When you add a self-centered lover who disregards boundaries to the mix, someone is going to get hurt. All the ingredients are in place for a perfect storm of a disastrous affair.
The time to start dealing with the affair is now. Even old affairs, like old rattlesnakes, still have enough toxin to hurt you. Don’t put off dealing with it until a more convenient time or when there’s an opening at the therapist office.
One thing you can do is join the community at Restored Lifestyle. Within minutes you’ll have access to videos guiding you through your situation, along with forums where you can share your story instead of becoming the latest news story or disastrous affair.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
