Having grown up in the Bible belt, I often heard the phrase “show me chapter and verse“. Rather than just accept what the latest traveling holy man was promoting, they had to provide evidence to back them up from Scripture. They had to prove what they were saying.
I consider one of the most tragic moments was when a woman whose husband cheated on her used this logic in justifying her divorcing him.
She later went on to marry the pastor while holding onto the belief that “God wanted her to be happy!” It led to a whole series of theological compromising and heartaches, all because someone wanted to be happy.
Those experiences taught me that I needed solid evidence and a solid foundation if I wanted to make a case for my thinking. It took me a few years before I was proficient enough to show others chapter and verse backing up my comments.
I’ve seen the same pattern in law, geometry, academic research and historic books. When you make a claim that is new or unusual, you need proof. Making wild statements without proof casts a shadow of doubt over all your claims.
The reason I bring this up in association with affairs is that there are many well meaning people getting caught up in affair situations based on a false premise. The false premise behind this is the teaching that “God wants me to be happy.”
First, there is no chapter and verse stating “God wants you to be happy.” Those promoting the idea are presenting their own beliefs out of context. Plain and simply, it’s bad theology.
Surprisingly I’ve heard the idea promoted so much that in some circles, it’s taken as accepted truth. That’s the problem with smooth lies. They tell you what you want to hear and accept.
I want you to recover from the affair, whether it was yours or your spouse’s. Being honest with your self is an important part of recovering. This is why I’m telling you the hard truth about there not being a chapter and verse stating that God wants you to be happy.
Secondly, when what gives you happiness is a violation of your marriage vows, I have to wonder if your idea of happiness is a healthy one. You may be indulging in sensual satisfaction, but in doing so, your actions may be making others terribly miserable.
When your happiness is making others miserable or ruining lives, you may want to rethink your ideas about happiness.
Thirdly, the word happiness shares the same root as ‘happening’. The word implies that you want a state where things are happening around you, like a three ring circus. Happiness in this case is about having constant stimulation.
If you’ve fallen for the teaching of God wants me to be happy, using it to justify an affair, something needs to change. A good place to start is by telling yourself the truth rather than falling for a lie.
Another good step is joining the Restored Lifestyle site, where you membership includes access to affair recovery videos along with forums and products for helping you through recovery.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
3 Responses
I mentioned before the I deserve to be happy statement is a sign of bad things coming. Bible speaks of joy but I have never seen happy! I witnessed what the pursuit of happiness brought. A never ending pursuit! While leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Pretty sure happy was never found!
Anonymous,
You get it! The pursuit of happiness (happenings) definitely becomes a never ending journey. The bible speaks of joy, things being a comfort to the soul, and happiness as a by-product. Scripture also points out where joy and happiness are to be sought, and it’s not in the neighbor’s bedroom.
There are many ‘possibility’ and positivist thinkers that promote the notion of “God wants me to be happy”. from what I’ve read, they actually believe the notion as well. I wonder if they have ever seen the fruit of their teachings on other’s lives.
When someone succumbs to the “God wants me to be happy”, affairs are only part of the heartache it brings.
Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you discovered very plainly the danger or seeking happiness as a main goal in life.