The other day I received an email in response to one of my posts. That email sparked a series of messages going back and forth.
In one of the messages, the writer mentioned that it’s ‘divorce season’. His comment made me think and consider what having a divorce season means. Like the ‘holiday season’ or summer vacation or other seasonal activities filing for divorce follows a similar pattern.
One of the months when filings spike is March. So having the first email this month addressing divorce season is timely.
Some of the ‘experts’ attribute it to couples waiting for their finances to be put in order before delivering the coup de grace to their marriage.
Having an affair is a sure way of pushing your marriage to the brink. Although affairs are popularly presented as the only ‘official’, Biblicaliy sanctioned reason for divorce, the statistics indicate that most couples survive affairs. The odds are in your favor.
Some of your spouse’s may test their brinkmanship and see how close to the edge they can get and still stay married. Affair brinkmanship doesn’t belong in your marriage.
In the Affair Recovery Workshop, I guide through a system that can bring your marriage back from the brink of divorce. Although I wish there was a magic wand that does the same thing, it doesn’t exist.
You and your spouse will either work at fighting with each other or work at improving your relationship. Either way, your marriage is going to change for either better or worse. You now have an opportunity for ‘better’ rather than settling for worse.
Keep in mind that the only thing a divorce changes is the battlefield where the two of you fight. You will still have to be dealing with each other.
A divorce doesn’t change that.
A divorce also doesn’t remove guilt or shame. If you’re considering filing you have to consider whether you are throwing away a perfectly good marriage.
Rather than throwing away a good marriage, Taking steps that improve your relationship, like those in the workshop move you past guilt, and shame along with providing you new ways of dealing with conflicts more effectively.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
4 Responses
Probably divorce season at the first of the year is related to holidays just past. I have read that around Christmas, there is a high exposure rate of affairs. The cheater is having to balance home and their “soulmate†time and gifts. That balance usually leads to mistakes being made and discovery.
Anonymous,
You’re very perceptive. Christmas and Valentine’s Day are often times when affairs are exposed. The cheater has two or more people wanting time and gifts. They’re often torn over such binds. Like the old country song by the Oak Ridge Boys, “Trying to love two women is like a ball and chain“.
Anonymous,
You are correct, the holidays are a high exposure time for cheaters. Another time is Valentine’s. There are often clues that alert you if you know what to look for.
I’m one! December 25th. To much going on. Got sloppy in the deceptive practices.