One of the reasons websites include FAQ (Frequently asked questions) section is that there are some questions that come up on a regular basis. The FAQ section addresses those common questions.
There are times when I’m asked unique questions. Two days ago, one of those unique questions was asked of me. A reader asked “Why does an affair take such a toll on people?”
After thinking about it a couple of days, it’s time for addressing their question.
First, there are the issues associated with broken vows. When you break a vow, especially a wedding vow, there are consequences. In the case of broken vows, trust is broken.
A broken wedding vow is more than an error in judgment or an ‘oopsie’. Breaking that vow is a major deal. It’s so major that some spouses consider it a ‘deal breaker’.
You can try tricking your brain into thinking it’s ‘natural’, yet inside you know that it’s not. When your spouse breaks their wedding vow to you, it’s serious. Something is broken way down at the core.
Since the foundation of your marriage rests on trust, when it’s damaged, your whole marriage is impacted. That breach in trust has far reaching impacts.
That breach impacts your relationship with them now and way into the future.
It means that the security and stability of your marriage are at risk. It also means that the priorities in your marriage are self-centered rather than relationship-centered.
When you’re unable to trust your spouse and the security of your marriage relationship is endangered, it changes your state of mind. It leaves you uncertain about your future, whether you can believe what they say and whether they are committed to you. You loose your peace.
When the security and stability of your marriage are damaged, you’re left with uncertainties about where you stand and what you can believe. That kind of uncertainty brings fear and anxiety with it.
When you’re never sure where you stand, it leaves you uncertain about your marriage relationship as a whole. It also leaves you wondering about whether your spouse is trustworthy in other areas both now and in the future.
Instead of knowing that your spouse has your back, you wonder if they can be counted on or not. You feel like you have to start covering your own back.
The bottom line is that affairs take a toll on marriages and spouses. Affairs have a price tag.
If your marriage has been damaged, now is a good time to start doing something about rebuilding and repairing trust. The longer you wait, the bigger the trust chasm grows.
In my video, ‘How can I Trust You Again?’ I share with you what the ingredients of trust are along with knowing where and how to repair the damage. When you click and download it, within minutes you can be taking steps in rebuilding your relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
