Now that it’s the middle of summer, you may dream of relaxing by a swimming pool. There’s something calming about water along with its cooling effects. Although they’re relaxing, having them built can be a nightmare at times.
When my father had a pool built, he wanted someone with experience. He looked into the background of the contractor.
He discovered that he was a former engineer with construction experience. That reassured him that the job would be done right. Instead of talking about completion dates, their conversation was on the methods of construction he would use.
My father knew the importance of experience. His pool guy wasn’t flashy. If anything he was kind of boring, but experienced.
In his case, construction went without a hitch. In contrast, my neighbor recently had a pool experience filled with lessons.
He contracted to have a pool installed by someone who worked for a few years at a pool company and went out on his own. It looked like he knew what he was talking about, but appearances are deceiving.
The pool man was enthusiastic about the job. He made all kinds of promises concerning how soon the pool would be completed. His enthusiasm was contagious. He was saying things the neighbor wanted to hear.
First, the pool man never counted on the kind of rocks he encountered. He promised digging the pool would take a week. It ended up being six weeks and involving bringing in heavy equipment.
Then, after setting the pool, the pool man hadn’t anticipated the spring rains. His error led to the pool floating up out of the ground twice.
Each setback costs my neighbor more in terms of headaches and money. Instead of going with someone with many years of experience, he fell for an enthusiastic sell from someone who didn’t have the necessary years of experience.
In my neighbor’s situation his pool was at stake. When it comes to an affair, your marriage and family are at stake. The former construction workers, peace officers, serial philanderers and marketers may be enthusiastic about helping you recover from an affair, but experience matters when your marriage is at stake.
Yes, they went through an affair in their marriage, but does that give them the experience you need in your situation? When your marriage is at risk, who you go to for help makes a big difference.
When reconstructing your marriage, you want something solid, rather than enthusiastic promises.
You also want to look into the backgrounds of those guiding you through the rebuilding of your marriage. How many marriages or affairs has your infidelity expert been through? Have they kept their own marriage intact?
In my Affair Recovery Workshop, I share with you lessons from years of experience in helping couples recover from affairs and the issues that go with them. Things like communication, overcoming defensive roadblocks, handling intimacy, family-of-origin concerns and more.
Just click, download and start putting change into place in your marriage and life.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
