In the early 70’s an incident in a bank in Tennessee occurred that impacted people around the world. The incident involved a red-headed teller who made eyes and flirted with a newly married man.
Although many of the tellers at the bank dressed smartly, this particular teller was very attractive. The wife of that newly married man viewed the attractive teller as a threat to her marriage.
She saw the danger this attractive teller was to her man and its threat to her. She was intimidated by her and his fascination with her.
Her husband was fascinated with her, even to the point of talking about her in his sleep.
The wife ended up writing down what she went through as a song. The haunting lyrics of the song she penned was named after the teller whose name was “Jolene“.
The song contains the line where the songwriter begs Jolene not to steal her husband just because she can. The song ended up being the most recorded cover of Dolly Parton’s music.
Anytime I hear the song, I envision a homewrecker situation. Although homewreckers should respect the sacred bonds of marriage (as should the cheater), the reality is they don’t. In fact, some homewreckers are more attracted to the married rather than the single.
They know that married cheaters are caught. They have limited options. The homewrecker often takes advantage of those limited options. When they’re attractive, they may even view breaking up your marriage as a personal challenge.
If you’re lucky, the homewrecker is an amateur with limited experience. When faced with a professional homewrecker, you’ll have your hands full. Experienced homewreckers have managed messing up multiple marriages and families. They know what works and what to say.
Your best insurance against a homewrecker is having a healthy marriage relationship. Having a healthy relationship limits what a homewrecker can do.
Your second defense consists of having clear boundaries and maintaining vigilance. This option requires considerable effort. It’s always harder removing a homewrecker from your life than keeping your marriage healthy.
Although you can’t remove the threat of homewreckers, you can take action in strengthening your marriage. In my “30 Days to a Better Marriage” program, you can take steps that make your marriage stronger.
Putting the effort and taking the time needed for completing the program requires sacrifice on your part. That effort will pay for itself when compared with the strenuous struggle it takes in dealing with and removing a homewrecker from your marriage and life.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
