There are times you may ask, “What does Google have to do with affairs?” This is a topic that we will take a deeper look at in today’s post.
Your initial response may be that you can use Google to look up information on affairs. You can indeed find information about affairs on Google. When you search for affairs, there will be a vast array of entries. There will be ads for sites promoting affairs, along with various definitions of ‘affair’ and articles from sites that are generally approving of affairs. There will also be how to sites on using infidelity services.
Most of the initial results will likely be favorable to affairs or defining affairs from ‘established’ sources. These established sources often provide consumers with definitions that fit within social standards rather than moral standards.
If you try to find this site, you may be relegated to the ‘adult’ content sections of Google. Never mind that the focus is on overcoming affairs and their fallout, or “recovery”, since we deal with the effects of affairs, it is still considered ‘adult’, even though the initial behavior of the cheater was more akin to child-like self-centeredness and immaturity. Google has a way of categorizing sites to its liking and biases rather than how consumers may view them.
If you did not have a “clue” about affairs, or were seriously looking for answers, the first page of Google would leave you with the impression that affairs themselves are a specialized business like transaction that are common and that there are many vendors offering affair services. So does this mean that Google promotes affairs?
Although Google is not actively promoting affairs, the search results and ads often reflect the values of society and what is deemed popular. When affairs are popular, they will show up as top ranked sites on Google searches.
Advertisers who are willing to pay top dollar will also be promoted. Sites like Ashley Madison often have top billing, since they are willing to pay along with affairs being big business.
Like all businesses, they are doing what they do to make money. Right now affairs are a money maker. Given that your average affair will cost you $444.00/month, and the average affair is about six months, you are looking at $2664.00 for an affair.
Companies like those listed above know that with the average cost of an affair being what it is, they stand to make some money. They make it easy for you to sign-up.
They are also designed much like a gambling-oriented site, the more action you want, the more you pay. The real kicker with such sites is that they charge you to remove your profile. The last I checked, the fee for removal of a profile was about $20.00. Affair hook-up sites know that users wishing to hide their identity are willing to pay for removal of their information. When a cheater is in ‘clean-up their act’ mode, they are willing to pay for privacy.
The situation reminds me of the old “Hotel California” song. In this case, you can easily check-in, but it is not so easy to check out, or remove your footprints.
In terms of the first question, “What does Google have to do with affairs?” With the ability of Google to provide information on demand, the kind of information a cheater needs in order to have an affair is more easily accessible.
Although Google doesn’t openly promote affairs, since Google results are a reflection of societal trends, when society promotes affairs, it’s reflected in Google results. If society opposed affairs, it would also be reflected in Google search results.
Google is driven by consumer demands. When you live in a society driven by consumers, they shape media, including Google. When those consumers want affairs, Google provides them with the information they are seeking.
The danger of the “Google Mindset”
Part of the danger of Google when it comes to affairs is the mindset that develops. The longer you use Google, the more dependent you become on doing searches for information and relying on search results. The downside to immediate search results is that you start to develop a dependency on it.
This is what I call “Google dependency”. Your thinking has been trained and shaped by your use of Google. By using it, the search engine delivers your results, thus rewarding you for using it.
Your mind also starts developing new connections to where you want more of this Google magic. What you do not realize is that you start binging on information without thinking it through, or without waiting. It initially sounds good, yet, when your brain gets used to it, it want MORE.
This dependency is not bad on the surface. It many ways it is a good thing. The danger is that Googlers start using Google as an extension of their thinking. They quit thinking through matters for themselves.
They want fast results without considering long term results. When it comes to the cheater mindset, they often do not consider long term consequences to their choices. Like the Google-dependents, they live a life relying on quick responses, not on long term consequences.
When you combine someone with a cheater mindset who becomes dependent on Google a strange phenomena occurs. The reliance on quick answers starts replacing real thinking. The quick fix mindset is reinforced. The cheater wants quick answers, they want reactive thinking rather than reflective thinking and Google delivers.
The Google mindset also sets up unrealistic expectations in other areas. The mindset of wanting fast answers and fast information without considering the consequences leads to many problems. It gratifies without considerations of responsibility.
When you have situations where instant gratification is the desired outcome, you have a high likelihood of dysfunctionality. You also have unrealistic expectations. Having fast access to answers is not a replacement for thinking through and working through the many issues related to affairs.
With Google, the mind starts assuming that instant gratification is always possible. If you want porn, it delivers porn to you quickly and without question or moral concerns. If you want dishwasher repairmen in your town, it promptly gives you a list of dishwasher repairmen. If you want marriage counselors, it tells you who the nearest one is.
Such answers are handy, but they are often not the best answers. Google feeds your desire for fast results. You mind starts getting tricked into thinking that there are fast results to ‘any’ problem, including affairs.
For cheaters and their families, they start wanting fast answers in many areas. Fast answers to the cheating, fast answers to how to deal with the cheating, fast answers to whether or not cheating is wrong. Those fast answers on Google are driven by what is popular in society and advertisers. When it comes to affairs, what is popular and what advertisers are telling you about them can lead you astray.
When your thinking has been changed by Google, you have the expectation of fast answers to any problem you face, including affairs. You also have the expectation of answers that do not have moral complications or long term effects. You start wanting your mind tickled and stimulated. The kind of tickling and stimulating you start wanting is very similar to the instant gratification mindset of cheaters.
This is another reason why it is dangerous for cheaters to use Google. They are already struggling with instant gratification. Even though they are wanting to delay gratification of their desires, when they get wired into Google, their brain gets into the instant gratification mindset again. The longer they use it, the more it wants instant gratification and instant stimulation. Their brains will eventually stray into the affair related areas of their life.
When their brain strays into the affair related areas, it is hard to control. Their brain is used to consuming data is large quantities or binging. It is also used to expecting instant results.
The more their brain is trained on Google, whether on computer or smartphone, the more they want. The turned-on brain is an addicted brain. It wants MORE. It wants to be stimulated or tickled in a major way. They want their information, they want it fast, and they want it convenient to access.
With all this new information, they engage in ‘problem-solving’ thinking. They find new ways of either making an affair happen, who to have an affair with or hiding an affair. The massive consumption of information gives them more options.
The more training they get in instant gratification, they more they want it. As long as their focus is on non-affair related material, you may not notice a problem. When their focus becomes sexualized, then you notice the problem. They start creeping into affair related material. The more they explore, the more they want.
The very thing they wanted to avoid, their mind starts craving again. The romanticizing of the affair kicks in, the desire for instant gratification kicks in, and then they are soon overwhelmed in their efforts at self-discipline. They may not initially want the affair, but when their desire for stimulation kicks in, turning their brain on, they lose what self-control they had.
Does this mean that you can look at their Google search history as an indicator of a potential affair? Yes, it does mean that. The search history will give you a good indication of what the cheater is focusing on. It is no guarantee that they will do it, only that they are ‘at risk’. With most cheaters though, when they are ‘at risk’ there is a good likelihood that they will act out their thinking in the near future.
Cheaters may be going to support groups, and have accountability partners, yet not realize the danger they are in when they start their Googling again. A few keystrokes here a few keystrokes there and soon they are facing a full-blown affair relapse.
They do not realize that the more they use Google, the more their brain turns on. A turned-on brain is hard to control. When the turned-on brain with its massive appetite changes focus to an ‘affair’, it is akin to trying to stop a rampaging two-ton elephant.
Google was never designed to be a moral beacon or your conscience. It never was and never will be. When the thinking of cheaters has been influenced by Google thinking, they want their fast answers. They want fights to end quickly. They want the issue resolved without having to reflect or think through the moral implications.
When you use Google as your moral conscience, it provides information without reasoning. Sure, you can spout out quick answers with Google, yet the moral content is nothing more than a reflection of societal trends and consumer demands.
Given that society is fickle, these standards are always changing. What is acceptable and moral today may not be so in three weeks. When you use a tool like Google for moral guidance, when it changes so quickly, you will not have a stable sense of morals. Sure you will fit in with society, but your morals will be changing depending on what is in vogue at the time.
Back to our second question. “Does Google promote affairs?”, the answer is not so simple. On the surface, they do not take a stand on such issues. At a deeper level, the habit forming patterns that Google enables can easily inflame a cheater’s mind.
Although Google does not immediately give them search recommendations for affairs, the quick fix mindset of instant gratification without moral implications is easily misused by cheaters and accelerates their already dysfunctioning minds.
So on a deeper level, the very structure and function of Google does make overcoming affairs and hooking up more difficult. It makes it easier to have an affair with hook ups and more difficult in overcoming them. The very structure of Google easily inflames a sexually addicted brain.
The simple answer is yes, Google promotes affairs, albeit unintentional. They provide a service. The problem is that cheaters have a way of turning everything they touch into a mess.
This also applies to Google. In the hands and mind of a cheater, Google becomes the tool of their own destruction. It develops an alliance with the cheaters mind in seeking out instant gratification or finding quick ways of hiding the evidence related to an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
