If you’ve ever tried mastering another language, you know the challenges that come with it. Even though I have not become fluent in any foreign language, knowing a few key phrases and words has opened doors for me.
When visiting places abroad, knowing a few phrases unlocks relationships. At the point where you can communicate, there’s a sense of connection.
Speaking some of the language also makes visiting other countries much more enjoyable.
When you and your spouse speak different languages, it makes connecting difficult. The lack of commonality makes solving problems and improving your relationship challenging.
The reason I bring this up is that many cheaters have no emotional language. Sure they can say the words for feelings, they know how to get into people’s pants, but they stumble and fall when it comes time for them to express or discuss their own feelings.
Think about that for a moment. When was the last time your spouse was fully able to discuss their emotions with you?
When they can’t talk about their own emotions, they likely won’t be able to talk about yours, much less really connect with or understand your emotions.
Listen when they talk about emotions. Are they telling you what they think or expressing what they are feeling? This should give you a clue as to their mastery of emotional language (aka love languages).
If they constantly attempt avoiding emotions, it could be that they don’t know how to talk about them or deal with them. It’s hard dealing with something you can’t even discuss.
Affairs stir up many deep-seated feelings. Those feelings need to come out. When a person can’t identify their own feelings, they become an emotional pressure cooker.
The pressure of emotions build up, yet they don’t have the ability to express them.
If you’re stuck in a relationship with a spouse whose not emotionally literate, you need some other tools and helps. A help I want to suggest is joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle.
There, you can share your emotions and be heard by others going through similar challenges.
Best Regards,
Jeff
