Have you considered the possibility that one of you is having an affair with your phone or social media? Your telephone and its social media apps may be convenient, yet be undermining your marriage.
Can technology destroy your marriage?
It can if you are not careful. Be aware of the dangers that lurk in your mobile phone and social media. You may be surprised to know that many people are addicted to their phones. Even you might be that person! Read on to find out more about how cell phone creep is affecting marriages today.
Your phone presents dangers that you’ve likely never considered. Those dangers may be weakening your marriage and making it vulnerable to an affair. In fact, it’s possible that you or your spouse are already having an emotional affair, and don’t even know it.
Consider this: If you’re spending hours every day on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media application, then chances are excellent that you’re growing emotionally attached to someone else.
Those attachments have ways of growing stronger and spreading in scope over time. Each time you give in to it, the attachment gains more influence.
One of the dangers of your phone is that it keeps your relationships at a distance. Sure, you stay in touch, yet while staying in touch, you keep everyone at a safe distance.
In fact, it’s possible that your spouse is feeling pushed away by those daily interactions. It can feel as though you’re building a world of relationships that don’t include them as much as they once did.
It’s not an uncommon problem today. In some marriages, the phone and social media have made a person more interested in their friends than their spouse.
One of the consequences of keeping people at a distance is that it decreases your empathy. You grow accustomed to texting your thoughts rather than expressing your emotions. It’s easier to post an emoji than actually expressing yourself.
The dangers creep up on you. Over time, you lose interest in the feelings of others and your ability for compassion. The sad part is that the loss is so gradual, that you aren’t aware that your capacity for compassion happens.
It happens little by little until one day you suddenly wonder why you’re not close to anybody.
You are not alone. It’s easy to become emotionally attached to others through your phone. The attachments build slowly but can run deep. Sometimes they even take over your life without you knowing it.
A further danger of your phone is that it coerces you into participating in activities that harm you and damage relationships.
I call this danger, ‘cell phone creep’. Over time you’re less tolerant of boredom, are uncomfortable being alone, and lose the ability to reflect and think.
You not only lose the ability to be by yourself, the quality of your connection with others suffers as well.
Cell phone creep creates superficial relationships with others. Yes, you stay in touch, but the connection is on a superficial level. It’s easy to like, comment and share, but it’s much harder to have a deep and meaningful conversation.
The problem is that we can become addicted to the high of social media interactions and the constant flow of information. It’s a dopamine hit that keeps us coming back for more.
When your marriage relationship is superficial, with sizable emotional distance, it’s only going to be a matter of time before an affair happens. You or your spouse will long for connection and closeness. When those things aren’t at home, they’ll be found elsewhere.
Who’d of thought that a device for convenience weakens your marriage in such a way?
The good thing is that you can do something about this problem. The “30 Days to a Better Marriage” series will help reignite the compassion, communication and closeness in your marriage. Rather than settle for superficial relations, you can have something better and stronger than you had before.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
