Are you a snooper? I’m not talking about occasional or episodic snooping. I’m talking about a serious daily need to snoop on your spouse. Or maybe you’re a snoopee and your spouse is the one who feels the need to snoop on you.
What started as a curiosity thing has a way of growing legs. Snooping is one of those things that can turn obsessive.
The more you snoop, the more your mind grows accustomed to it. It changes from a curiosity into something you have difficulty stopping. You start to feel like you need to snoop; it’s become a part of your daily routine.
The thing is, once you’ve uncovered certain things about yourself and your spouse, those discoveries can change the way you experience your marriage.
The snooping turns you into a sleuth seeking answers in likely and unlikely places. Each new piece of information has new questions.
The problem is that snooping has a twisted way of rewarding you. When you snoop and find, it makes you want to snoop some more. You keep digging deeper and deeper, hoping to find some answers that will bring you peace of mind.
When you snoop and don’t find, you want to dig deeper to find what’s hidden. The more you know, the more you want to know. It becomes a repetitive habit.
Some snoopers start taking pride in their ability to find things out. They feel accomplished with what they discovered, then wonder why they feel so bad. They get a rush of excitement. They feel like they’re in control of uncovering the truth.
Some snoopers can’t turn their minds off from snooping. Even when they don’t want to snoop their inquisitive minds won’t shut down. It keeps snooping around the clock in terms of new questions and new theories connecting the evidence found at that point.
Too much information overloads your mind and emotions. It also leaves you finding connections where none existed. Your mind starts obsessing about what could happen or what it may mean.
Snooping is just one of the ways of dealing with the trauma of an affair. Like many other coping habits, it can become detrimental when used excessively. There’s also an addictive component when overused.
What you can do rather than snoop is take steps that resolve the effects of the affair trauma. When what you’re doing to cope is making you more miserable, you need to change things.
In the video, “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, I share techniques that will help you move past the trauma. You no longer have to remain stuck. Instead, you can move past this and the snooping habit.
Click and download the video today. In minutes you can be resolving your traumas rather than the go-nowhere merry-go-round of snooping.
The snooping hasn’t given you peace of mind. If anything, it’s given you more dis-ease than comfort.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
