Archive for the Understanding Affairs

If you want to be notified the next time I write something, sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS Feed. Thanks for reading. One of the dangers of affairs is that once the neurons have been activated, by the excitement and relating to a new person in a new manner, they […]

In the recovery community, the term ‘rigorous honesty’ is often used in dealing with out of control behaviors. They know that the heart is deceitful and will often find excuses and rationalizations to continue the out of control behavior and make sound acceptable. Rigorous honesty is the weapon used to shine the light of truth […]

One of the problems of working in an environment that is results oriented is that spreads into other areas. People begin to evaluate their manhood/womanhood in terms of the bottom line. Since their sexuality is tied in with their personhood, a common problem is to begin keeping score of their progress in terms of sexual […]

Some people are enamored of professionals when it comes to affairs. They assume that because they are a (doctor, lawyer, architect, etc.) ___________ that said person is safe to have an affair with. Just because they have some schooling, and professional credentials does not mean that they have better morals or sense of duty than […]

As youngsters, many people played the game of freeze tag. Once you have been touched, you are touched you are to remain frozen in position. In a similar manner, when a person has an affair, the distance which existed in the relationship is frozen into position. The distance between husband and wife effectively becomes cemented. […]

Feeling trapped by an affair? If you are trapped, or just feeling trapped, it is important to escape. The longer you choose to stay in an affair, the greater the damage is done. Delays in making a major intervention just to protect the feelings of others is a mistake. Traps can be made of emotional […]

Is it possible to have an affair without realizing it? The answer is an unqualified “YES”. In the dating world, people are not always upfront with the information a person needs in order to make wise choices.  That woman that you are taking out on a date may not have told you that she is […]

Since affairs hurt people at a very personal level, the risk of revenge is extremely high. One of the major dangers is that there are often more people that want revenge than the infidel can keep track of. The offended spouse, the lover, the lover’s ex, family members of the offended spouse, etc. Affairs are […]

One of the weird things that I have encountered with affairs is the strong similarities between the infidels spouse and the lover. Although they may deny it, the choice in lover often reveals hidden needs. When the lover look like the spouse, though perhaps a younger, sexier version, the choice indicates that they really do […]

In dealing with affairs, I often encounter those who insist that their swapping and polyamorous lifestyles are healthy and ‘natural’. They espouse the reasons for their positions, and justify their choices. Although the discussions are often lively, when they get honest, those lifestyles are often filled with confusion, torn loyalties, emotional binges, and insecurities. The […]